Straight from the pages of Secret Wars XIII…

Tired of your comics continuity coming apart? Of DC and Convergence, of Marvel and Secret Wars? Looking for a character who can effect real, lasting change? Who matters more than all the others? Then of course you are looking for none other than Deadpool, and the comic of choice this week is What If Venom Possessed Deadpool?

I originally picked up this comic because I was like “Hey, I like Venom and I like Deadpool.” But you’ll notice in the discussion to come there’s not a lot of Venom. Yeah… wasn’t really the relevant part of all of this! Venom, through the symbiote suit, is a connection to the original Secret Wars, which is the real point here!

What If? is a longstanding occasional Marvel comic, looking at (you guessed it) the “what ifs?” of comic events and happenings. However, it’s usually a bit more serious… this one is 100% parody. Possibly more percents.

So what happens?

Well, sometime after the original Secret Wars, Galactus – who tries to take out the Beyonder a few times – hires Deadpool…

Seems like a plan, right? So Deadpool gets to pick his price. So of course, what would he select?

Because where would a Deadpool comic be without taking the 4th Wall and shattering it? So Deadpool wants a device that would give him absolute relevancy, so that he mattered no longer what. Clearly not at all a poke at what they’re going for with any and all Big Comics Events…

So it’s worth saying here that this comic was my first run-in with the Beyonder – a character I’ve learned more about because of reading Secret Wars and subsequent spoiler-ific elements of the lead-up to the new Secret Wars… However, I still haven’t read Secret Wars II, where apparently, he takes human form…

Yeah, no, transfixed by the Cosmic Jheri Curls, Deadpool can’t kill the Beyonder – instead, joining up with him to party. Somewhere in there he gets – then gets rid of – the symbiote suit.

Free after over ten years, Deadpool is back pursuing his goal of relevance (without bothering with killing the Beyonder). But no one is paying attention to him or his failed attempts. Until finally someone points out to him – all the heroes and villains spend their time duking it out in the Secret Wars…

Sorry, need a full page there… it’s kind of my point 😉

Here’s where the Relevance is. Here’s where the Lasting Change is. You know, until next time. Until it all changes again, and the dead return, and all that. The Big Comics Event. And this character arguing with Deadpool (Venompool) seems to stand in for the hardcore comics fan…

That or perhaps the role of the comics creator, or editor, or marketing person… something like that. About familiarity, about pertinence.

Deadpool turns his back on the Secret Wars (until, you know, he returns to them). And finally – Galactus coming to take care of what Deadpool couldn’t – while Galactus and the Beyonder are fighting, Deadpool removes both of them from existence. Which finally seemed to accomplish his goal: he had done the biggest thing, and he mattered the most of all the heroes.

But that wasn’t enough for Deadpool. Because he wasn’t the only important thing – just the most important thing. He had an opportunity to call it good, but he couldn’t stop obsessing. Had to be the most important, the only important, thing. So you know Deadpool.