Tuesday Chatter: Imagine Yourself as a Dungeons and Dragons Character!

These Tuesday chatters are about conversations. Two weeks ago, I asked for feedback on the blog. Got some. Last week, I invited people to promote themselves. Many did. Both threads are still open, and you’re welcome to leave comments on them.

This week, I opt for pure silliness. If you ever played Dungeons and Dragons, think honestly about what sort of person you are, and imagine what your character sheet might look like. I’m going first.

ratqueens

 Ability Scores

We all know D&D runs on ability scores and skill points. Here’s my stats.

Most of what I do is Intelligence- and Charisma-based. I’m not assigning my highest stats actual numbers. But I will say, I find it difficult to actually roleplay a character with a 19 Intelligence or a 17 charisma, so my stats probably aren’t all that. Wherever they land, these are my two highest scores.

I wish my Wisdom and Dexterity were higher. My direction sense is so terrible I’m notorious for it among my family and offline friends. I’ve failed at both juggling and various musical instruments so many times, it’s not even funny. I understand music theory and am able to play by ear well enough, but my fingers simply do not cooperate. That said, I have pretty good reflexes.

Whomever rolled me up put the lowest ones in Strength and Constitution. Even when I was in my teens and working out religiously, I was not that strong. And I’m not actually sick that often, but when I miss a CON check, I pay a hard price. My Constitution may be higher than my Wisdom and I just don’t know it because skill points.

Alignment

The Nine Alignments of Batman

The Nine Alignments of Batman by CompGeekDavid.

Chaotic Good is the sexiest alignment, but I am not that. I try to conduct myself as a Neutral Good, but really, if I am honest, I’m Lawful Neutral. Bit of a calculating Stoic here. We can explore the implications of the Utilitarian Principle on the thread if you like, but this is all I’m saying about my personal alignment on the front page of the blog.

Equipment

So, what would I spend my 50 to 200 starting gold pieces on?

Aside from some armor and three serviceable weapons, one of which is designed to be concealed and one of which is made of silver (because D&D is physically PERILOUS, yo’!); spell components (because you KNOW I’m casting some spells, whatever else I do); and food (because starvation is the LAST thing you want to be dealing with if your DM is worth a damn). Aside from those, here are the things I must have in my backpack before setting out on an adventure.

  1. Writing equipment. Scroll case full of paper. Quills, ink, etc. A blank journal if I roll the starting money well.
  2. A small knife. So small, it’s not much better than a fist in combat, but it is not primarily a weapon. Is a tool.
  3. Rope. Rope is just essential.
  4. Chalk. It weighs almost nothing, and one time getting lost in some bizarro dungeon-maze will teach you just how valuable three sticks of chalk can be.
  5. A collapsible pole, if I can afford it. Alternately, a pole with sections that you can screw together and screw apart.
  6. A mirror for looking around corners and identifying vampires and making sure my hair is cinematically correct before every battle.
  7. A 2-lb bag of marbles. You would be surprised just how often you find yourself retreating down a flight of stairs, pursued by a gaggle of large, flat-footed bipeds in this game. Marbles have other uses, too. They’re awesome for voting and gambling, if you pick the colors right.
  8. Handkerchiefs, tobacco, and smoking apparatus. Because Tolkien.
  9. The means to make fire and a couple of flasks of oil.
  10. A holy symbol and some vials of holy water. Even if you aren’t religious, sometimes there be undead. And sometimes you get into a situation where all you can do is pray for divine intervention and hope you live through it.
  11. A change of clothing.

That’s it. Don’t need no stinkin’ bow. (Got Magic Missiles and a lot of even nastier spells for ranged combat. Color Spray. Sleep. Entangle. All very low-level spells. You know what I’m sayin’ 😉 ) Torches and lanterns: Also not required, because Infravision and Continual Light.

hobbit-map

I almost did a section on my skills, but if I do that, we’ll be here all day. All my skills are about the subtle use of words, carefully considered body language, and knowledge.

My D&D characters are pretty frightening when I manage to keep them alive to 10th level.

So, what I am I when I translate myself into the language of D&D? Not a book wizard and not a fighter of any sort, obviously. Also not a cleric because I have no patience for religious discipline. And not a bard, though I’ve worked at the bard skills a bit. Rogue/Sorcerer FTW, I say. More Rogue than Sorcerer.

What sort of D&D character are YOU??? Inquiring minds want to know.

Seems appropriate to include an Imagine Dragons video with this one.

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24 thoughts on “Tuesday Chatter: Imagine Yourself as a Dungeons and Dragons Character!

  1. I have to pop away quickly, but I wanted to say that imagining himself as a D&D character, world and story building was one of the ways my Autism spectrum (Asperger) son learned to navigate social relationships. Imperfect, sure, but there was so much to be learned. He created his own character for an end of school project. It was meant to be a reflection of himself, and wow was it illuminating. We all learned so much from him that summer. It was beautiful. Even though he is “high functioning” to the point people are surprised when they realize he is not neurotypical, his struggles have been very, very real. So, I love this. xo

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Hmm.. it’s been so long gone since I’ve actually played D&D (I mostly play in a system my bestie has been working on, for the past decade…). I would likely be a bard though. Higher on the Int and Wisdom, with charisma in third.
    My gear ALWAYS includes writing tools, some sort of instrument (because, bard… even though IRL my instrument skills are mediocre I think they could be good if I actually practiced). Also, generally, some ancient book that has/does cool stuff.
    Quick surface-thought response 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, always with the writing tools. I played a character who couldn’t read/write once. That turned into a bigger wrinkle than I imagined it would. In general, D&D characters are VERY literate.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t know D&D well enough to write myself as a character in it. I’d probably throw a fit the first time someone insisted that the person in steel plate armor is literally more difficult TO HIT than the one in studded leather (it’s nonsensical, game mechanics be damned), then I’d get kicked out of the world. Or maybe I’d say that there’s no rational reason why magic-users cannot wear a leather vest if it’s armor but CAN wear the same garment as just clothing… and then I’d get kicked out of the world.

    My friends and I used to attempt writing ourselves up in GURPS, a system I’m more familiar with, but there is NO WAY I — or any other real person I know — could stay below the 100-point limit for ‘ordinary person.’

    Liked by 2 people

    • GURPS is strange to me.

      I thought the whole spellcasters in armor thing was handled in the later editions of D&D with small but significant spell failure chances.

      As for the plate/studded leather thing. Yes, a person in plate is easier to hit, but the armor is harder to get through. So I think of it as a wash.

      I’ll say, though, I’d rather have a high Dexterity and light armor than a high strength and heavy armor.

      Because Dexterity gets you the initiative bonus, and also gets you a “To-Hit” bonus with several weapons. Combat initiative might just be the most important stat in all of D & D.

      Saving throws are a close second, in my mind. Characters who get to 10th level with a zero damage bonus become super-powerful, in my experience. You don’t want to waste one of the best two stats on the damage bonus at first level, unless you’re just resigning yourself to be the Tank, which is the absolute shit job in a well-constructed D&D party.

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  4. It is always appropriate to drop an Imagine Dragons song.

    Oh man, I don’t even know where to begin. First, you reminded me of an old blog post of mine, and re-reading it, maybe one of my favorites. And relevant: https://comparativegeeks.wordpress.com/2013/09/23/10-best-spells/ 10 Best Spells 🙂

    So I guess start at the top. I myself am high in intelligence, sitting a little above average on Dexterity, Charisma, and Constitution, and low on Strength and Wisdom. My common sense is abysmal, and I think that all the time I could have been increasing my Strength I was dealing with the fact that between allergies and elevation, I couldn’t keep going for long. Hmmm, maybe my Constitution should be lower… I could really use a perk at character creation…

    For alignment, I think either a Neutral Good or a True Neutral. I definitely at times enjoy a good chaos for chaos’ sake, but I’m also one for figuring out all the rules of a thing, understanding, and then applying them. Something of the gamer in me there…

    Starting equipment? Not going to list all the things (nice job with the teasing us with these, by the by) but one thing I would for sure have is one foot of yellow string. A memento from my first D&D sessions. Every character I’ve ever made has had it since then. It’s a reminder that sometimes things are exactly what they seem.

    And then, in a world of magic and such, I would definitely be trying to figure out my future path. Not that I would have it secured – it would constantly be changing! But anyone who knows me agrees: I would totally be designing my character spec over and over. In other words, I would have a notebook scribbled with ideas of what to do. It might look a lot like my blog post linked above: spell progressions, best selections as I improve. In-world, it would be lists of ideas of things to learn after seeing higher level people use them.

    Oh, and weapon? One of my favorites I ever had was a telescoping morning star. Of course, now I have Warmachine models that have some of those…

    Will be able to add shields soon enough! #Warmachine #Obstructors

    A post shared by @comparative_geeks on

    And finally, class? Well, I always seem to tend towards the swordmage sort of character. The Final Fantasy Red Mage. So my mace, shield (magic barrier or mundane), and then sneaking spells in as able. Things like Mirror Image in a close melee can be amazing!

    Great post 🙂 Thanks for the space to ramble!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Far as weapons go, lots of good combinations. One of my best characters ever fought with shortswords and whips. He was a BRUISER, but just enjoyed the entanglement and the precise combat.

      If we’re talking purely in the abstract, you can’t go wrong with bastard sword/horseman’s mace. Because you can use both of those at the same time, or use the sword two-handed as the situation calls for, and have a silver dagger stashed somewhere about your person. That covers most of the bases.

      Liked by 1 person

      • My last character, though he tended to tank with his basic longsword, carried around a Glaive. In part, because the mini had a spear on the back (my old Twitter image). In part, I used it as a charisma-combined thing. It was for intimidates. When it was time to pull out a different weapon. To tell people it’s story, tell them I was undefeated with it. Something like that.

        Sadly, most of that was in my head – the DM didn’t give us many intelligent enemies to intimidate!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Poor you 😦 No intelligent enemies.

          You chose well. Glaives are some of the most intimidating objects ever.

          I am a fan of some pole arms. The trick is to know when to drop them and draw a shorter weapon.

          Liked by 1 person

          • That’s why the plan was to lead with them, for sure 🙂 I took a Charisma of 14 to start, thinking it might come in handy… turned out to be quite a lot better than anyone else in the party, so it saw quite a lot of use.

            Because Charisma, used properly, is easily the most important stat. Especially when you can back it up with a second useful stat.

            Liked by 1 person

            • True, Dexterity is most useful a) in the situations one finds themselves in in a D&D campaign and b) if you don’t teleport 😉 My most recent character was an Eladrin Swordmage – nearly everything I did was a teleport, and my defense and attack came from intelligence!

              Also, Dexterity is useful in, say, the situations from my recent Facebook share that I’ve seen going around… Epic dad saves 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m still on my first campaign, which has taken a hiatus, but I’m basically playing myself while I learn to play–a lawful-good(ish) human paladin who is a queer eco feminist. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • OHHH. Lawful Good on the first go? Truly? I never would have guessed that one.

      A queer eco feminist paladin sounds like a force to be reckoned with.

      I played a paladin once. He had many adventures and gained many levels. Then he died. Gloriously.

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      • They’re a paladin, so I went with that. But they’re not a very good paladin all the time (or rumor has it), and they worship Elonna instead of the paladin god. The character probably has better dexterity than I do, but let’s be honest, I can do the tea cup trick from Crouching Tiger at least once for every time I drop a container of sugar on my head and the floor.

        Liked by 1 person

        • LOL on the Crouching Tiger/Sugar madness!

          Elhonna is cool. I’ve prayed to her. Greyhawk, then? I’ve run campaigns in that world. Is a good world to be an adventurer in, and a good world to be a god in.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. Augh. This is probably why I find D&D so boring. Too much mathing for too little payoff. But when I’ve played, my compatriots have had me be a bard, based on the “play a character mostly like you” idea. (Dislike of fisticuffs is probably another reason I find D&D boring, and very few classes aren’t built around combat…)

    I am reasonably intelligent and reasonably dexterous with finger-related skills. Not so much with the not falling over.

    Alignments, to me, are Hogwarts houses all over again. It is incredibly frustrating on the internet to not have one. It is incredibly frustrating even offline to make friends with geeks but not have one. Probably that equates to True Neutral, perhaps skewing toward Neutral Good… I also find that the protagonists of my stories are almost always True Neutral, and I use my protags as self-diagnostic tools on a regular basis.

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